Menopause can feel like a battle. A battle with your body, your emotions, and perhaps most of all, your own mind.
For many women, menopause brings a wave of anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression. And if you’ve ever been told to "just think positively" or "change your mindset," you might have wanted to scream. Because when you’re really struggling, those words can feel frustrating, dismissive, and even impossible.
But what if working with your mind wasn’t about forcing positivity or pretending everything is fine? What if it was about gently shifting the way you speak to yourself, in a way that actually helps you feel calmer and more in control?
That’s where Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) comes in.
Your Mind is Listening: Why Self-Talk Matters
Have you ever noticed how the words you use can shape how you feel?
If you tell yourself, “I can’t cope with this” or “I’m such a mess”, your brain listens, and it reinforces those beliefs. Not because you’re broken or weak, but because your mind is designed to seek patterns and make them real.
NLP helps us become aware of these patterns, not to blame ourselves for them, but to gently start shifting them so that our inner dialogue supports us instead of dragging us down.
1. Notice the "Always" and "Never" Thoughts
When menopause feels overwhelming, it’s easy to fall into black-and-white thinking:
❌ “I’ll never feel like myself again.”
❌ “I always feel anxious.”
These thoughts feel real because they come from genuine frustration and exhaustion. But when we say things like never and always, we lock ourselves into a belief that change isn’t possible.
Instead, try softening the language:
✅ “Right now, I feel anxious, but I have had calmer moments before.”
✅ “Some days are really tough, but I’ve made it through every single one.”
This isn’t about fake positivity. It’s about creating a little space for a different possibility, one where things don’t feel quite so permanent. Here’s a simple way to start:
2. Speak to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
Imagine your closest friend was struggling with menopause. Would you tell her she’s weak? That she’s "not handling it well enough"? Of course not.
And yet, we speak to ourselves this way all the time.
Try this: Next time you catch yourself being harsh, pause and ask:
💭 "If my best friend were feeling this way, what would I say to her?"
Even if it feels strange at first, practice offering yourself the same kindness you would give to someone else.
3. Tiny Shifts, Not Big Leaps
If you're deep in anxiety or depression, jumping straight to positive affirmations like “I am strong and confident” can feel fake, because, in that moment, it’s not how you feel.
Instead, try shifting towards a neutral statement that doesn’t feel like a lie:
✔ Instead of "I’m completely stuck," try "I’m finding my way, one step at a time."
✔ Instead of "I hate my body," try "My body is going through a lot, and I’m learning to support it."
These small changes may not feel dramatic, but over time, they help your mind see new possibilities, ones that are easier to believe.
Final Thoughts: Mindset is Not About Blame - It’s About Support
Working with your mind doesn’t mean dismissing the very real struggles of menopause. It doesn’t mean pretending anxiety, brain fog, or exhaustion don’t exist.
It means giving yourself more space, more kindness, and more permission to speak to yourself in a way that makes life just a little easier.
You don’t have to fix everything overnight. You don’t have to feel positive all the time. But you can start with small, gentle shifts that help you feel even 1% better today.
And sometimes, that’s enough to begin changing everything.
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